Summer is here! And for us flight attendants that means the busiest time of year has officially arrived. The majority of people leave the country for some guaranteed sun hours with overbooked flights as a result. Our goal is to get our guests from A to B in the safest and most comfortable way possible. Most of our guests are frequent flyers and know all about the ‘on board etiquette’. Still there are many people that have never been on board of an airplane. Nothing wrong with that of course but truth be told, often we get back into our little kitchen with that ‘oh my God’ look on our faces. Working in this industry means dealing with different people, morals, values, cultures and habits. For those who don’t travel often or have never been on board of an airplane before I’ve created this mini Inflight Guide. Consider this your on board ‘how to’. Print it out and read it before you board, ‘wink wink’.
We get it, when your neighbor ordered his drink you weren’t really thirsty. But when you saw his ice cold beer, it made your mouth water. So you make us walk back to the kitchen six times or so. Please, order everything at once. We’re already walking from Amsterdam to Los Angeles. Just saying.
We get it, you’re finally in your seat, and the movie you really wanted to see is in the preview. But after 10 minutes trying to get your attention we go on with our lives. So when you see us in the aisle with a cart full of drinks, please, press pause, take off the earphones and give us some attention. You snooze, you lose!
We get it, why change a winning team and you want to have your fave drink, all day everyday. Also when you travel. But remember that there is only limited space on an airplane and we can’t carry the entire Seven Eleven stock. So generic drinks like Coke and juice, coffee and tea only. And no caramel macchiato, Mountain Dew or Squirt.
Fear of Missing Out
We get it, sometimes it’s just like running tracks getting from one gate to the other. During the drink service you find the need to order three or four drinks. We really have no intention on leaving the airplane mid flight so you will see us again. You have come to realise that tomato juice, coke and coffee don’t really go good together.
We don’t take back half cups. So, bottoms up!
We get it, you’re done with your meal and you want to get rid of the tray asap. However when you stack the trays, you make our lives a little harder. We need every inch of space in the meal carts and stacked trays don’t fit. Speaking of the meal tray: we didn’t serve it on the floor so we are not collecting them from the floor either. Thank you.
We get it, you’ve just heard the meal choice announcement and you had your hopes set on the delish chicken dish. But once it was your turn, the chicken is no more. Please, don’t.freak.out. We just can’t cater 400 chicken and 400 pasta meals so everyone can have their choice. Be glad it’s just the chicken that we ran out of..and not fuel!
Call me maybe
We get it, we know it’s us pictured on the attendant call button. You want to ask something and just to make sure you press the button, 16 times. Be aware because in stead of a friendly face you might get a big whiff fire extinguisher in the face. Repetitive sounds make us go into the emergency/fire fighting mode. So one call is enough..really.
Odd size baggage
We get it, you’re off to see the family and you want to take as many prezzies with you as possible. Or, VS had 70% off sale and you couldn’t resist. So you loaded that baby up. Once on board you have a hard time getting your trolley up in the luggage bin. But please, don’t just drop it in front of our noses thinking that we can get it up there. Not all of us are Olympic athletes so let’s do it together. We only have one spine.
This one we actually don’t get.. you decide to change you little munchkins diaper…on a seat. While dinner will be served in a minute. And on a seat where a fellow passenger will be seated on the next flight. Moms and dads of the world: our lavatories are equipped with state of the art changing tables for you to use. Please do so!
One word wonder
I’ll let you in on a little secret. It is the best kept secret in aviation. The number one way of getting anything you want (okay, almost everything). And it won’t cost you a thing. Use these words and you’ll have the best flight ever. Are you ready? Here goes: it’s please and thank you. These words are very special to us because we hardly ever hear them. But we would love to.
PS: no sir. We are not flying back to Amsterdam after a 14 hour flight. We don’t have 28 hour work days…yet.